Greta and Rosie : A Tale of Two Devious Dogs

Jan 10, 2019Pat's Chat, short story



Meet Rosie. Mild mannered. Spoiled. Afraid to walk on hard-wood floors unless her parents have rugs to make a path. Wakes you up on a chilly night to sneak under the covers. Recently put on a restrictive diet due to stomach problems after she had a run-in with excessive dog treats and Halloween candy.


Meet Greta. Loving pup that is a “face dog” – only happy if she can kiss and sniff your face. Has a bit of a weight problem (that we don’t talk about in front of her). Eats a bowl of dog food in three bites without chewing and follows with three quick belches. Tries to lick the dirty dishes in the dishwasher before the door closes. Gives dirty looks if you don’t share your meal. A happy dog that is visiting Rosie for two weeks while her parents are away. 


Our tale begins on a quiet weekday when the masters head off to work and school. It will be an unusually long day for the dogs home alone. The radio plays their favorite country music in the background… 


Rosie says, “We might as well take a nap. They won’t be back for a while.”

Greta lays down. She rolls over with her feet in the air, and then her tummy grumbles. “I’m hungry.”

Rosie rolls her eyes. “They gave us a treat before they left.”

Greta jumps off of the couch and roams the kitchen. She sniffs the pantry door and says, “Isn’t our food in here?”

“Yeah, why?”

Greta grunts. “I could use a snack.” She throws her body weight against the door that is only partially closed. It flies open with a bang. “Woohoo! Jackpot!”

Rosie jumps off of the couch and hurries to Greta’s side. “What did you do?” She inches closer, curious. She is sick of her diet dog food.

Greta scours the pantry, bypasses the containers of dog food, and sniffs the shelves. She passes the canned goods, trash bags, vegetable oil, and then she gasps. “What is this bit of heaven I smell?” She grabs the plastic bag in her teeth and pulls it into the kitchen. 

Greta and Rosie stand over a full, unopened loaf of bread as drool drips down their beards. 

Rosie shakes her head. “W- w- we- better not!” But her tummy rolls with anticipation and her tongue falls out of her mouth.

Greta grins. “Who’s gonna stop us?” Country music twangs in the background.

Greta rips open the bag and fresh slices of bread fly across the kitchen tile. Rosie gives into temptation as they gorge on carbohydrates and take no breaks for a drink of water.

Rosie gasps with excitement. “Being bad feels so good! And I HATE country music. Why can’t they play rock n’ roll while they’re gone?” She dives back into another piece of bread.

After devouring the entire loaf, they waddle to the water bowls and drain them dry.

It is only 10 AM.

The masters will not be home for another five hours. Carbohydrate coma sets in and they pass out in the sun that shines into the window. 

An hour passes . . . 

“I don’t feel good.” Rosie jumps off the couch and stands by the back door knowing that nobody is there to let her out. She tucks her tail down tight. “Uh-oh!” She races up the stairs and into a back bedroom hoping that nobody will notice the diarrhea on the carpet – three times. 

Greta follows her upstairs. “Maybe that bread wasn’t such a good idea.” She proceeds to vomit on the carpet in two rooms and down the stairs.

Rosie wimpers. “We’re going to be in so much trouble.” She doesn’t have time to worry about her punishment as she runs down the stairs and soils the carpet in five more places. Greta follows suit.

Time passes. The front door rattles. 

“Hide!” Greta ducks behind the couch. 

Rosie greets her young master arriving off of the school bus. She mutters to herself. “I’m doomed. I’m doomed.” She clenches her tail tight and drops her head to the floor. 

“What did you guys do?” The master walks two steps, sniffs, and screams. “Oh, my gosh!” She dials her phone. “Mom!!!”

The master holds up the bread bag to Greta and Rosie.

“Don’t look at her!” Rosie whispers to Greta and they turn their backs and look away.

The master yells, screams, gags, and puts the dogs outside. Relief overwhelms Greta and Rosie as they continue to get sick in the safety of the grass and relish the fresh air. Eventually, the winter cold surrounds them and they return to the back door. And wait.

And wait. 

Rosie shivers. “What if she never lets us back in again?”

Greta shrugs her shoulders and body slams the back door. “Oh, she will. It’s almost time to eat.”


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ANNOUNCEMENT!!!  RETURN TO GRYMBALLIA – the sequel to SAVING THE WORLD has been released and is currently available on Amazon and the Barnes and Nobles website! 

Book release party/Author signing event – will be held Sunday, February 3rd from 1-3pm at the Eldridge Library. Both books will be available for purchase, or you can buy online and bring for autograph at the event! Bookmarks and snacks will be available as well – please spread the word!!   A similar author signing event and Book release will also be planned early February at the Bennett Library – watch Facebook, my website, or the paper for details!!




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